I’m Not A Dog Person

Let me give you a piece of advice. Don’t get a dog. Just Don’t. Trust me.

Whenever I hear that someone is considering buying a puppy, everything in me screams, “NOOOOOOOO! Don’t do it!  ”

Why you ask?

The past year has taught me that I am just NOT a dog person.

There is dog hair all over our house. It doesn’t matter how much I sweep, vacuum, and dust, it remains. It is particularly embarrassing when a guest finds a hair in their coffee cup or in the butter dish. Yuck.

Let’s not forget how she choses to greet our guests either. If you are under 3ft you will be knocked off your feet. She loves to kiss peoples faces. There is no stopping her. If you are over 3ft there is still a good chance you will end up on the floor . I am sorry. I know I am responsible for her behavior- I just don’t want to be.

I miss just picking up and leaving. Gone are the days where we can spontaneously go somewhere overnight. We have to beg our dog off on our friends, and we like our friends .

Then there is our neighbor and her constant guilt trip. She walks her dogs twice a day. Everyday. Even in the freezing rain or a snow blizzard. She is always there with her perfectly obedient dogs,  with a smile on her face, staring at my house , making me feel like the dog poop all over my yard. Miley often mournfully looks out the window wishing the nice lady would adopt her.

When I actually have a rare moment of being a good dog owner and take her to the dog park, all the other dogs owners make me throw up in my mouth a little. FYI to all you dog people out there: Your dog is an animal. NOT a baby. I’ll stop there before I get hate mail.

Have I mentioned The Smell ? Oh the smell. Nothing masks it. Nothing. Not even a yankee candle. You bathe her and then my entire house smells like wet dog. It’s a lose lose.

Our dog is allergic to leaves. Leaves people! Which is a teeny tiny problem since we have 22 trees on our lot. Our pup is on a steady stream of antihistamines. Ridiculous. Also we don’t have a fence so I spend a lot of time pretending that she doesn’t go into our neighbors yard or play chicken on the road.

Finally we can sleep in on the weekends but instead of our kids waking us up early, we now have our very own dog alarm. Ignore her and you are risking her eating your favorite boots. True story.

Speaking of which, our dog has a gut of steel and a habit of eating whatever she finds her fancy. Whether it be the kitchen table, the wall, ballet shoes, socks, or my lunch she will and has eaten it.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t love our dog. I do. ALOT. And that is precisely the problem. She is 61 Lbs of loyal sweetness, and she causes absolute havoc in our home, but somehow through all the chaos we fell madly in love with her. Because of that she is here to stay despite my threats to post her for free on craigslist.

So listen to me, DON”T GET A DOG.

Or do. If you are a dog person.

But don’t say I didn’t warn you.


5 thoughts on “I’m Not A Dog Person

  1. Anonymous says:

    Never post a dog for free on craigslist! Do you know what happens to those dogs? They are taken by animal abusers who need another victim. Most get used as “bait dogs” in the fighting ring or some just get plain abused, shot or beat. If your dog is unaltered it will most likely be used to produce litter after litter adding to the already over populated dog problem. Then after the dog is not of any good to them anymore it will become used for one of the other things I mentioned above. Never list a dog for free on craigslist or anywhere else!

      • Anonymous says:

        Okay that’s good to hear. Thank you! That comment wasn’t necessarily only for just you it is meant for any dog owner that happens to read it. As a SAHM as well, I also spend time rescuing and saving “shelter dogs” and “free cl dogs” that are about to get in the wrong hands and it is a never ending battle. To often loving, caring dog owners for whatever reason have no choice but to re-home their dogs and offer them for free thinking it will have a better chance to find new owners but it just usually means the dog will have either a short painful life in the ring and will be torn apart by other dogs or will live a longer painful life of abuse. People are unaware of all the cruel idiots out there and don’t realize the fate they are setting up their beloved pets to have. There are so many and I can only do so much so I kinda was a little upset when I read that. I currently have 3 pit bulls in my home with my 3 kids and many many out with fosters and everything you were saying about having a dog is so true and I couldn’t help but laugh because I can totally relate but I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. They are my four legged kids…

      • We really didn’t know what we were getting into when we got her! But now that we have her, she is ours to keep and love. She can be crazy, but that means she fits in!

  2. Every single day I am sooo glad that we got a non-shedding dog! I was not a dog person either and it took me a good year to get used to ours but now I love him as much as anyone. But, still, I am SO glad he doesn’t shed… 🙂

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