Amy Glass. I can’t help but feel sorry for you.

I tend to stay far away from Mommy Wars that seem to be running rampant all over the web. Honestly,  I find them useless and utterly obnoxious.

However, I feel the need to address this woman who has upped the anti and declared war on Stay at Home Mothers and wives everywhere. She has no tact nor mercy – not even for her own poor mother who she degrades publicly.  (Someone please go give that Mama a hug )

In writing this I want my readers to know that I have deep respect for professional single women, stay at home moms, for moms who work from home, and for moms who work outside the home. I sincerely love you all, and am proud to have close friends in each category. I don’t believe that success, happiness or joy are only found in marriage or in motherhood. I also know that you can be an amazing wife and mother while at the same time being a wildly successful professional. On that note:

Dear Amy Glass, 

I was one of the unfortunate ones that stumbled upon your blog the other day. 

I am not going to bother trying to make a case for stay at home mothers. I don’t have to. My position as a SAHM speaks for itself.  Your post does not demean nor does it intimidate me. I am a young wife and a young mom. I LOVE my life. I wake up everyday with purpose. My husband is my best friend, my love, and my team mate. My dreams and professional ambitions were not laid aside when I chose to be married. Quite the opposite actually. I am content, and feel peace knowing that all the sacrifices my husband and I have both made, have been made willingly, out of love. I wouldn’t be the first stay at home mom to declare that my accomplishments are largely due to the support and encouragement of my husband and children. He doesn’t just take care of me. We take care of each other. On equal footing. 

 No- I don’t have to defend my choices in life.  But it seems as if you have the desperate need to defend yours. So desperate in fact, that you attempt to rip apart even the woman who bore you, accusing her of having no identity outside of being a wife.  You should be ashamed. You talk of  weakness. You know what I teach my children? The bully on the playground, is the weak one. 

You either are a very sad and lonely individual, or a wise business woman who knows that calculated, controversial posts will produce hits. For your sake I hope it is the latter, and in that case, congratulations. You have managed, on a much smaller scale, to do just what Miley Cyrus’s shameless twerking has done; gained the attention of the country, and piss off a whole bunch of mothers. Wow – what an accomplishment. 

I hope that one day you can swallow your pride, and your mean spirited posts. Perhaps one day you will fall in love and marry and realize that there is joy in partnership, and that you are able to love someone else more than yourself. Perhaps one day you will hold your very own little boy or girl in your arms and realize that motherhood isn’t such a normal, everyday thing. It will be the day that your heart grows three times it size, and suddenly is able to feel both joy and pain simultaneously. The day that you will see  your professional successes dim in comparison to being a mother. 

Your post does not evoke anger in me, nor do I look down on you because of your grossly sad and misinformed judgements. No. Instead,  I feel a great deal of pity for you. Those judgments may keep you from ever knowing the honor of serving someone else other than yourself and your own gains.  I pity you because I know that people who set out to intentionally hurt others are a by-product of hurt themselves.  I can’t help but wonder what led you to this point, and I feel sad for you. 

You have succeeded in carving an identity for yourself as being spiteful and mean. An incredibly easy task, that literally anyone can do.  As a writer who prides herself in being an advocate, a voice for women, you have accomplished the opposite. All I saw in your words was hatred for women who chose a different path than yours. A path that you know absolutely nothing about. Also,  you will NEVER be exceptional by being a bully. In fact, a bully will always, only be less than average. And in my opinion- you have more potential than that. 

 

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21 thoughts on “Amy Glass. I can’t help but feel sorry for you.

  1. Your response is beautiful, and altogether perfect Cari. It brought tears to my eyes and justice to my soul after reading such a harsh article by Ms. Glass. Thank you so much for so beautifully wording the heart behind being a SAHM. I hope Amy Glass finds her way to YOUR blog and reads this post. I seriously hope so.

  2. Molly says:

    I stumbled across your blog when someone posted your outstanding “we can’t be friends” post on facebook. I continued to read and am just so in awe. Your honesty is an inspiration and you seem do such a good job of balancing the crazy. I saw this post and decided I had to comment. Good on you! Well said and well done. I am not a mother yet, I am an engaged woman that waited quite a bit to say “yes” to someone, but we should NEVER shame women for their hard-earned choices in motherhood, partnership, or life. You capture that perfectly and make me, once again, believe in the women that surround me (some I do not even know, obviously). You are doing what you need to do for your family, your husband,and your life, and you are doing it beautifully! I hope other women feel as confident as you do in their choices. Well done and thank you!

  3. I enjoy your blog but almost wish I hadn’t seen this post – I fumed and then I began making a time-wasting list of all the reasons this woman’s point of view is invalid and realized she had won by wasting my time! Before I was a mother I worked as a nanny — I did the HARD, exhausting and rewarding working of raising children and I did it for money. Does this mean that I didn’t have a real “job” either? What planet could she possibly be coming from? I can’t find it in me to be as charitable as you toward her. But I think perhaps you are right, it is nothing more than Google-bait, in which case, well played nasty writer, well played.

    • Gah. I am sorry. 🙂 She is clearly very smart or off her rocker, or both 🙂 But i would venture she is just good at marketing herself. Because now I know her name, and so do you 🙂

  4. Amy says:

    Me too! I had never heard of Amy Class but after reading up a lot of her material I found the one that perfectly describes her here: http://thoughtcatalog.com/amy-glass/2013/12/successful-women-do-not-fall-in-love/

    And if you read the final paragraph it is crystal clear why she rights as she does:
    “I am in love with myself, in love with building my work, which will outlive me, and in love with proving people wrong, the ones who told me what I couldn’t do– be happy and secure and the center of my own world.”

    Oh dear…

  5. amanda m says:

    I love what you said about being a young mom and being a happy and satisfied stay at home mom. I have had a hard time letting go of my career goals when I had my daughter in college. But what you said about sacrifice really makes me proud to be leading the life I lead.

  6. live and let live says:

    I hope you have the self awareness to realize that, just like ‘Amy Glass’, you too think that what you do – SAHM – is more satisfying and will bring more joy/the ‘right joy/the ‘complete’ joy above other lifestyle choices. Just look at your paragraph here – “Perhaps one day you will hold your very own little boy or girl in your arms…It will be the day that your heart grows three times it size, and suddenly is able to feel both joy and pain simultaneously.” What an assumption here! So only if I have a baby will I be able to feel that level of joy and pain! And you go on – “The day that you will see your professional successes dim in comparison to being a mother.” Again, the assumption that professional success comes secondary to being a mother – and every woman can become a mother just like that, isn’t it!? A giving, compassionate human being, with a successful professional life, who cannot be/chooses not to be a mother, is somehow missing out? That’s what you imply. and for YOU that is the truth. And you have the right to feel that. But you will not see me calling you names like some of the ones you’ve used for Amy Glass – mean spirited, sad and lonely individual, spiteful, mean etc. – just because you stated an opinion that is different from mine. Wish you had extended the same courtesy to Amy.

    • That is not what I was implying at all, I am sorry you read it that way. I believe you missed this statement I also made before I began :

      “in writing this I want my readers to know that I have deep respect for professional single women, stay at home moms, for moms who work from home, and for moms who work outside the home. I sincerely love you all, and am proud to have close friends in each category. I don’t believe that success, happiness or joy are only found in marriage or in motherhood. I also know that you can be an amazing wife and mother while at the same time being a wildly successful professional.”

  7. live and let live says:

    Well, my comment is waiting moderation, but irrespective of whether you publish it or not, hope you got my message.

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