Being A Yes Mama

baby-17

I say no to my kids all.the.time. every single day.

“No, you may not watch more tv. ”

“No, you may not stay up later.”

“No ,you may not have any candy.”

“No, you may not swing from the ceiling fan.”

“No. No. No. No.”

Sometimes I get sick of my own voice. ( Imagine what my kids think! )

I say no so often that it ends up being my default answer. I even say no sometimes without even thinking about why I am actually saying no in the first place! Which can be problematic right?

I realized just how problematic the other day when I told my son,  “No, you can’t have more salad.”

UM WHAT? He looked at me like I had two heads.

Just in case you are wondering, I recanted and gave the boy more vegetables. I seem to eat my words a lot around here.

Which is why I have been trying something new out this week . I am saying, “Yes.” more. Not to everything of course, I have to draw the line somewhere. Playing on the street sounds like a good boundary. But I don’t have to always say no either. It feels good to relax a bit and just say “Yes. Why yes you may.” Then I get to watch my kids astonished reactions. It’s quite amusing. I think they are wondering where their real mother went off to. But I’ll venture to guess they don’t want her back! Their new “Yes!” Mama rocks.

I have already felt a slight shift in our relationship. For one, I am saying yes to things I normally wouldn’t have, like making tents in the playroom, and letting them make their own lunch; things that by nature are messy but oh so much fun. I am also finding that my attitude is becoming more positive, and the kids are noticing. They seem to be less apprehensive about approaching me with requests and it feels good. I love seeing their faces light up when I say yes. It also makes the unavoidable “No’s ” more tolerable.

Things are happier around here. I like it that way.

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8 thoughts on “Being A Yes Mama

  1. It can be hard and scary sometimes! But that is always a good thing. I think a lot of people need to work more on saying yes, even if that means dealing with a little mess afterwards. That is why there are boundaries where it is like, “Okay, if you want to do this, then you help me pick up after we are done playing, okay?” Or whatever it may be (in the case of the tents specifically).

    • Right? My problem is that I am not very good at following up with their clean up. But I am trying! It is less work for me to just do it myself, but that only creates more problems!

  2. Saying YES can be fun! Some days I feel like I am by default yelling “stop touching each other” and then realizing that one is stuck behind the couch instead of being sat on 🙂 and by the way- your photos are amazing, may I ask what type of camera you use?

  3. Yeah I’m trying not to say no, so much. I give my son options now. I say “do you want this? Or that?” so that I’m not constantly saying no all the time just like I try not to yell. It’s been really hard but I do the best I can.

      • That is all we can do! There is never really a right way only the way that works for you. The options has worked really well I mean I can’t 100% reason with my son he is only 2 so some times it’s a huge melt down, but I do take the time to explain why he can have something and then redirect him to something else.

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