I say no to my kids all.the.time. every single day.
“No, you may not watch more tv. ”
“No, you may not stay up later.”
“No ,you may not have any candy.”
“No, you may not swing from the ceiling fan.”
“No. No. No. No.”
Sometimes I get sick of my own voice. ( Imagine what my kids think! )
I say no so often that it ends up being my default answer. I even say no sometimes without even thinking about why I am actually saying no in the first place! Which can be problematic right?
I realized just how problematic the other day when I told my son, “No, you can’t have more salad.”
UM WHAT? He looked at me like I had two heads.
Just in case you are wondering, I recanted and gave the boy more vegetables. I seem to eat my words a lot around here.
Which is why I have been trying something new out this week . I am saying, “Yes.” more. Not to everything of course, I have to draw the line somewhere. Playing on the street sounds like a good boundary. But I don’t have to always say no either. It feels good to relax a bit and just say “Yes. Why yes you may.” Then I get to watch my kids astonished reactions. It’s quite amusing. I think they are wondering where their real mother went off to. But I’ll venture to guess they don’t want her back! Their new “Yes!” Mama rocks.
I have already felt a slight shift in our relationship. For one, I am saying yes to things I normally wouldn’t have, like making tents in the playroom, and letting them make their own lunch; things that by nature are messy but oh so much fun. I am also finding that my attitude is becoming more positive, and the kids are noticing. They seem to be less apprehensive about approaching me with requests and it feels good. I love seeing their faces light up when I say yes. It also makes the unavoidable “No’s ” more tolerable.
Things are happier around here. I like it that way.
Dugans InCahoots 