Clarifying “We Can’t Be Friends”

This week my post “We can’t be friends” spread like wildfire online.

It has raised more than a few critical eyebrows, so for what it is worth, please hear me out.  I want to clarify that my writings had little to do with the state of my home. Or your home for that matter.

It was a simple message, in a time in my life I needed to be heard:

I want to be Real. And I give you permission to be Real too. 

I was so overwhelmed from the comments and emails I received. Many of you could relate to the words written and were encouraged. You also took the time to encourage me back and I am beyond grateful. Truly. Thank you. 

However, I feel a heaviness in my heart that is hard to ignore . Why? Because my comment feed also tells a vicious and repeated tale, of how cruel we can be to each other.

Why ? Why are we so hard on one another ?

We love to dish out criticism and insults. We hide behind our computer screens and slander those whom we don’t even know. We pass judgment against the girl at the gym, the mom at the grocery store, and the woman who received the promotion we wanted. We read too much into each other’s intentions, and rarely into their hearts. We are brutal. It is sad. It makes my stomach turn. But it is true.

And then we wonder why it is hard to be vulnerable.

What would happen if we just took the time to hear each other out? To be less defensive and more encouraging? To trust each other’s intentions and let the little things ( that have no importance ) slide to the wayside. To be each other’s advocates.

Would we develop the kind of friendships we are all longing for? Real, Genuine, Long lasting friendships? Would we hurt less and allow room for healing?

We are capable of loving each other. We are capable of supporting each other.  Let’s stop tearing each other apart. A little empathy and understanding can go a long way. It could even change a person’s life. So if you take anything from “We can’t be friends “, take this:

Just Love

For the record I really don’t want you to fold my laundry. It would be nice, but that wasn’t the point of this post. Real friends love each other on the very best day and on the very worst day. I have my share of both.

True Friends Give Grace Abundantly

I need grace. Don’t you?